Alcohol makes people do stupid things. This is a documented fact. But a drink containing a human toe? Seriously?!

At first I thought it was a joke. Then I was told on good authority that it wasn’t. So I tried to rationalize the irrational: they must use a fake toe. But no, it’s real. Indeed, the Sourtoe Cocktail exists, my friends, and judging by the video evidence, people are still drinking it, for reasons that are completely unfathomable to me.

The toes are real human appendages that have been dried and preserved in salt. They look totally disgusting. Witness exhibit A:

Exhibit A

The Sourtoe Cocktail is the signature drink of the Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, Yukon, which is apparently the only place you can get it (and thank god for that).

The original recipe called for a human toe to be tossed into a beer glass filled with Champagne (classy). Nowadays anything can be a Sourtoe (even non-alcoholic drinks, apparently – mmm, Sourtoe Pepsi); it just has to contain a toe. And, in order to become a full-fledged member of the “Sourtoe Cocktail Club” (I guess it’s kind of like the Mile High Club, only not nearly as physically enjoyable), the toe must touch your lips at some point while you’re drinking – otherwise it doesn’t count. Because if you’re going to do something gross, you might as well make it as gross as possible.

The origin of this abomina – er, “drink” – apparently dates to 1973, when a character known as Captain Dick Stevenson bought a cabin outside Dawson City that housed the pickled remains of the previous tenant’s toe. As the story goes, apparently it was the amputated toe of a rum runner from the 1920′s, named Otto Liken. One day, while running from the Mounties, Otto stepped in a puddle and his toe froze. In order to prevent gangrene, he decided to have his brother amputate it – with a shotgun. The story’s not clear on how the toe stayed intact after being blown off by a shotgun at point-blank range, or why they kept it afterward in a bottle of rum (I don’t think DNA evidence was a big method of catching bootleggers during Prohibition), or why it was still in the cabin over fifty years later, or why the hell the new owner thought it would be a great idea to drink a fifty-year old bottle of rum with a dead guy’s toe floating inside – but apparently that’s how it went. Maybe it was based on some bizarre hazing ritual performed on newbie Klondikers during the gold rush. Or maybe Captain Dick was just insane.

Captain Dick swigging a Sourtoe. I hope you're proud of yourself, Dick.

Captain Dick decided to market this unholy creation, and tourists were quick to line up for their chance to “do the Sourtoe.” He even had certificates printed up, so that people would have certifiable proof of their stupidity. Perhaps more unsettling, the bar has never had to go looking for a toe when one was lost or accidentally swallowed (and this has happened more than once) – dozens of toes have been donated.

I just don’t get it. It looks like something from a horror movie. It can’t possibly add anything positive to the taste of the beverage, and it’s certainly not doing anything for the drink’s aesthetics. There is no rational reason why any sane person would want to put this in their mouth – but they do. By the thousands. An estimated 65,000 people have consumed this drink since its inception.

Oh well. I’ll just pretend I’ve never heard of it. At least the Sourtoe won’t kill you, unlike some drinks.